my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
