her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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