I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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