Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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