Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
