Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He? As in you personified your dick?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying