OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he quoted the bible to break up with me
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.