good thing vaginas are great cup holders
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?