i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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