She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
