her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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