Someone shit on the floor
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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