Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
