this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
