I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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