To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
