My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
