just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
