Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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