1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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