I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
