Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
