wake up i wanna do it froggy style
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
smell my finger.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
