She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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