Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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