i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
