my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
