is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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