some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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