you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
