Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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