She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize