have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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