Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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