Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
