Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
you had me at cake vodka
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
