I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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