Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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