btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
