Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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