imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
