hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
