SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm just crazy horny about you
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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