dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
