when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
