I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
