His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
