Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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