Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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