As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
