So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize