I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think I am morally bankrupt
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
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