Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
