You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize