hell yes lets make some ravioli
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
