I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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