just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
