honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
this boner is exhausting
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
