hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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