her vagine was all disorganized.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
