This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
