am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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