My nipple is on Facebook.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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