alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
