There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
someone threw a dead crab at me
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im holly from the hills drunk
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
