you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
