The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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