she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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