The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
People in love make me want to vomit
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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