Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
